Today, I AM a survivor—someone who has endured not only profound psychological, emotional, and financial abuse but also systemic betrayal at the hands of those who protect power over justice. My story is not just about one man’s cruelty, but about an entire system that enables abusers through influence, status, and shared agendas of destruction.
My ex-husband is a textbook example of a narcissistic, antisocial personality. He was never a partner—he was a competitor, a deceiver, and a destroyer. Rather than building a family, he worked tirelessly to dismantle it, pitting our children against one another, resenting my family’s success, and rewriting history to make it seem as though I came from his background and he from mine. He was fueled by jealousy, misogyny, and an insatiable need to control.
His hatred of women ran deep, something I did not fully recognize until after our marriage. He spoke nothing but negativity about women, and it wasn’t until our daughter reached puberty at the age of 12 that I saw just how deeply ingrained his misogyny was. Instead of protecting her, he treated her with cruel disrespect, as though her mere existence as a young woman was an offense to him. She has never forgotten it. His disdain for women extended beyond his words—it was embedded in his actions, in his calculated attempts to strip me of my worth and our daughter of her innocence.
Even after I left him, his need for power and revenge did not stop. His military training in psychological warfare became his most dangerous weapon, and his connections—both in secret societies and among the elites of the community—became his army. He refused to let me go, refusing to divide the divorce property, withholding alimony, and even taking steps to have our son and me harmed—all in the name of control, greed, and appeasing his wounded ego.
And he did not act alone.
He found allies in people like Paula Ansara Wilhelm, Bob Gino, Chandra Shumwa, Kathleen, James, & Tim Young; individuals driven by obsessive envy, scorn, and bigoted personal agendas. Together, with a like minded community, they shared a common goal: my destruction. Not because I had wronged them, but because they could not stand the idea of me standing strong. Individuals abusing their powers, working together to ruin one woman—the mother of the children my ex husband claims to love, yet was willing to sacrifice to feed his own scorned pride.
But this is not just my story. This is Nicole Brown Simpson’s story all over again.
Like Nicole, I have been unheard, unprotected, and dismissed—left for dead by a system that favors status over truth. Nicole, too, tried to escape a powerful, controlling man with a violent past. She, too, was failed by a community that sided with her abuser because of his influence, his connections, and the carefully crafted image he maintained. In both cases, the message is clear: If you do not hold the same power, the same wealth, or the same connections, your life does not matter.
As an American Indian woman with brown skin, I have felt the weight of this injustice even more. The erasure, the indifference, the willingness to let me suffer in silence—it is as though I was never meant to survive, and no one cares if I do. They have left me for dead, allowing my abuser and his enablers to continue their assault on my life.
But I refuse to be erased. I refuse to let my story end in silence. My survival is my resistance. My voice is my weapon. And I will not be destroyed.
To those still trapped in the cycle of abuse, to those dismissed and unheard, I say this: You are not alone. You matter. Your story matters. And no amount of power, wealth, or status will ever silence the truth.
"I rise. I AM healed. I CLAIM MY LIFE, MY DESTINY BELONGS TO ME and not one shall have it".
The Psychology of an Abuser: A Profile of Narcissistic and Antisocial Behavior
Abusers like my ex-husband often display traits consistent with narcissistic personality disorder (NPD), antisocial personality disorder (ASPD), and extreme misogyny. These individuals operate through control, deception, and psychological warfare, ensuring that their victims are trapped in a cycle of gaslighting, self-doubt, and emotional devastation.
A man who competes with his own wife rather than supports her is not a partner—he is an adversary in disguise. A healthy relationship is built on mutual respect and encouragement, but for someone with narcissistic tendencies, their spouse is not a loved one but a rival to be conquered. He cannot allow her to succeed, because her success diminishes his fragile ego.
Projection: Accusing Others to Conceal One’s Own Guilt
One of the most common tactics used by pathological individuals is projection—accusing their victim of the very things they are guilty of themselves. If a man obsessively accuses his wife of betrayal, deception, or perversion, it often reflects his own inner turmoil.
A husband who falsely accuses his wife of infidelity may be the one engaging in secret affairs.
A man who constantly shames his spouse’s morality may be struggling with his own hidden desires or behaviors.
A father who inappropriately sexualizes his daughter’s innocence may be struggling with deeply ingrained misogyny, unresolved trauma, or suppressed inclinations that he cannot face.
Could this kind of projection indicate latent homosexuality or internalized shame? While not all narcissistic abusers have suppressed sexual identities, studies suggest that men with extreme misogyny, aggression toward women, and a fixation on controlling their spouse may be struggling with unresolved conflicts regarding their own identity. Some research on homophobia and misogyny suggests that men who express excessive hatred toward women or same-sex attraction may be battling their own repressed thoughts, leading to anger, violence, and obsessive control.
Psychological Breakdown of an Abuser Who Destroys His Own Family
Pathological Jealousy & Competitiveness with a Spouse
A man who cannot handle his wife's success, beauty, or happiness sees her as a threat rather than a partner.
He must diminish her, overshadow her, or make her look like the "lesser" partner to maintain dominance.
This competition often turns into psychological abuse, where he ridicules her achievements, isolates her from supportive people, and undermines her self-worth.
Control Through Accusations & False Narratives
Abusers rewrite history and create false narratives to maintain control over the victim’s identity.
Accusing the wife of "horrible deeds" (such as cheating, dishonesty, or being a bad mother) is a way to divert attention from his own wrongdoings.
The more sinister and absurd the accusations, the more he shields himself from exposure.
Favoring Certain Children While Abusing Others
Playing favorites with children serves two purposes: manipulation and control.
One child becomes the "golden child," the other the "scapegoat"—creating division and emotional instability within the family.
Studies on narcissistic parents show that this destroys sibling relationships for life, causing lifelong resentment and emotional trauma.
Extreme Misogyny & Hatred Toward Women
A man who devalues women—never speaking positively about them and treating them as objects to control—has deeply ingrained misogyny.
His insecurity manifests as hatred, because women challenge his power by simply existing outside his control.
This hatred intensifies when his own daughter reaches puberty, as he cannot tolerate her autonomy.
The Abuser’s Ultimate Goal: Erasing the Victim
When a narcissistic abuser loses control, he must destroy the person who left him.
This includes financial abuse, legal sabotage, stalking, defamation, and even hiring people to harm the victim.
He will manipulate the system (courts, law enforcement, secret societies, community elites) to ensure his victim has nowhere to turn.
What Happens If This Behavior Is Left Unchecked?
If left unchecked, individuals like this become increasingly dangerous—not just to their families, but to society as a whole.
Psychological Warfare & Legal Abuse: They use the court system, police, and social circles to harass and financially ruin their victims.
Destruction of Children’s Mental Health: Children raised by narcissistic or antisocial parents suffer from PTSD, self-esteem issues, trust problems, and emotional instability.
Escalation of Violence: Studies show that many domestic abusers escalate their tactics over time, leading to extreme violence or even murder.
Community Collusion: When society enables abusers due to status, wealth, or secret affiliations, it creates a culture of silence and complicity—exactly what happened in the Nicole Brown Simpson case.
The Nicole Brown Simpson Parallel
Much like Nicole, I was unheard, unprotected, and left for dead by a system that sided with the abuser.
Nicole repeatedly warned that O.J. Simpson would kill her, but no one listened.
The system dismissed her because she was a woman, because he was wealthy and connected, and because powerful men protect other powerful men.
I, too, have experienced this same silencing—being an American Indian woman with brown skin, my life has been treated as disposable.
My ex-husband, much like O.J. Simpson, thrives on control. He could not handle losing, so he used every tool—his secret society, his military background, his elite connections—to punish me for leaving. And just like in Nicole’s case, the system stood by and let it happen.
Final Message: We Must Speak Out
If these behaviors are not exposed, they will continue. These men do not stop. They do not change. And they will always find enablers who protect them if we stay silent.
To anyone who has experienced this, know this:
You are not crazy.
Your abuser will never be satisfied until you are erased—but you must refuse to disappear.
No amount of power, money, or status can erase the truth.
I will not be silenced. I will not be erased. And neither should you.
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